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The journey to go through another break up has been devastated to me, it seems like a norm to me that women who I had “intimate” before would often live better after that, I had seen and witnessed myself for 3 times in 3 straight years, either they would just taken away by 3rd party or just disappeared out of thin air. Changing partner every year seems to be fun for an average frustrated chumped like me and I guess I took it in a different way, I put the happiness on the hand of other, I am more miserable than being happy in a relationship. I thought this is what it was meant to be, to love and expect to be love in return. It is often what I perceived and indulged was not the desired result.

Its futile to be in relationship again, I shut myself in the house for month reading books, listening to self-help CD and studying forum post of love and relationship. I want to gain back my self-esteem that has been taken away and rewire myself being a more contented person. While shutting myself down from the social world for month had showered myself with more knowledge into better understanding awareness deep inside me. People often read books to search for themselves and find someone who agrees with them. And, right now, I could have done better if I have made the right choice in my life.

I suppose, we were all searching for love to fulfill our loneliness and emptiness, in search of other half needed to achieve happiness. That’s why we found each other. But by putting 2 persons with different system of behavior would never fix what was broken inside. Nothing would fix what was broken inside. All we could do was embrace the damage. The code of conduct to learn how to maintain a relationship.

I have gotten used to it, modern women these days are imbalanced and not firmed about what they need and want in a relationship. They want the best of both worlds. Surprisingly, even a 30 years old girl had this thought in mind. Undeniable, materialism is the key word these days, no matter how perfectly lovey dovey the relationship starts, either through “chemistry” or “love at first sight”. At the end of the day, 2 persons with different system of behaviour trying to change each other to fit their needs, the relationship will fall apart. I am not saying this out of a theoretical but experience it myself.

This is so unnecessary, women just seem to lose the ability or even willingness for sastifaction. They just want more, more class, more money, more time, more love, more care and bla bla bla. Why do Men always being blamed for unnecessary demand by woman? Who’s the one who generate all this unhealthy issues? It is women itself. In old days, women are calm, dedicated and obedient, being part of the backbone of the family, giving real strength that holds the family together with love and dedication. I assumed this is near extinct because social changes, woman has lost their identity for being good wives or good mothers.

Modern women no longer sastify with their traditional roles by fulfillment of nurturing her family or being a lovely wife, they had changed, they find more fulfillment at work being in high powered career, gains social dominant, defines her achievement at work, and NOT through the happiness at home, this has gone out of balance. They no longer being driven by family focus but selfishness to their own achievement and not the shared responsibilities of building a happy family together.

So how? Women are lost. They indulge deeper in work, having affairs with black and white. Doing unnecessary demands that bring little or no happiness and resign to be unhappy. Women appear to be cracks, they are not happy, they stress their life and long for romance, time for kids and more freedom which is supposed to be the traditional roles, but they want it all. Though, deep inside they want traditional roles by not giving up the modern roles, they never felt contented and this leads to miserable and resentment.

It’s not good signs and I am worried, however Love can be maintained, improved and neglected, we often have a choice.

PS:
This post is not to provoke discomfort to women and I still perceived women as a wonderful creatures. This post was purely my opinion based on what I observed, thanks for reading.

While on my surfing routines, I stumble upon askmen.com and found an excellent survey, the 2008 great male survey and 2008 great female survey. Recently askmen.com had just revealed the 2008 Great Male Survey and 2008 Great Female Survey. It’s an interesting survey to get to know the latest modern man and woman. There are a few survey that caught my surprise, I would share with you at the end of the post. The surveys is good to know as men are from mars and women are from venus, they tend to react and think differently, the survey gives a woman better ideas what an average man thinks and feels, while man can better understand what a woman wants.

Modern Man, they no longer being portrayed as insensitive, immature and commitment phobe, man are now more prior towards loyalty and family. Applause to all man and this would definitely benefits all woman out there.

Modern Woman, this may seems surprise as modern woman are now more bold, sexy and  not afraid to go after what they wants. My surprise is that women have more sex partners - 20% of women admitted to having had more than 15 sex partners, while only 17% of the male respondents said have had more than 15 partners.

Alright, here’s more of my surprises,

Men
77% of men look for girlfriends with “wife potential”
69% of men would never cheat on their partner
57% of men cook at home and enjoying doing it
56% of men said that being a good father or husband makes a man “manly”
That’s good, does that means more man would looks for wife potential rather than girlfriend potential? I am not sure how to differentiate them but I am sure that being a wife potential should be able to cooks, taking care of the childrens, faithful, lovely and understanding. Less man cheater? how true? great man don’t cheat and how I wish my next partner would not cheat and I have enough of those experienced and learned a lesson from life from a great pretender. We use to think that man who know how to play music instruments(piano, guitar and etc) are attractive, but not for France woman, because they finds cooking man attractive, I am not sure where I read the new but I think this is true, being a good father or husband should be able to cook and this really makes them “manly”.

Women
20% of women admitted to having had more than 15 sex partners versus 17% of the male respondents said have had more than 15 partners.
34% of females respondents said they would not change a thing about their lovers versus 17% of men said the same.
23% of female respondents are completely satisfied with their sex lives, versus 14% of males.
17% of the female respondents have lied to a partner about their sexual experiences versus 31% of men have lied. 

Women are always interested in sex and relationship, what can I says about modern woman, more open and more sex partners. Hmm … I am doubt but rather agreed. Modern woman is getting less demanding and sastified, “maybe?”.

Read the surveys? What you say?

The old says it is better to have loved and lost then to never have love at all, the old also says that you reap what you sow, you get back what you give to others. How true is this when you are being cheated and dumped? If you are a buddhist you may call it “karma”, other people call it “what goes round comes around” but the BIBLE makes it very clear, “what you sow is what you reap.”

Love should be unconditionally, honest and faithful, love shouldn’t be one sided, what normally happens in a relationship in most cases is that what you give are often what you cannot expect in return. Love has no guarantee and rules, you cannot expect love if you don’t show love. The only love that can last for long is to love unconditionally, if it is one sided, it is often a short-term relationship or rebound. If you do not know what you need or want, don’t get into a relationship and realise that what you want is not what you need, you will hurt a soul and also waste his/her efforts puts into you.

Relationship is not a game, is not you can get in and out as you like, a true human being feelings and emotions is involve. A perfect and wonderful relationship should have care, forgiveness, sincerity, faithfulness, responsibility and HONESTY. A relationship must be HONEST and faithful to your partner, share the good and bad, responsibility and able to forgive each other. Lacking does not last a relationship long because it’s a one-sided relationship that has no emotional attachment between partners. If you do not have the emotions attachment you wouldn’t care, worried, or respect your partner and it is necessary the relationship does not last long. If you do not care, forgive, sincere, faithful, responsible and HONEST in the relationship you definitely do not get in return in your next relationship.

Relationship should be close to each other, comfortable, love and care. When there’s obstacles and arguments in a relationship, instead of focusing on hate and anger, both should be ready to forgive each other mistakes to strengthen the love. Walk hand in hand and responsible towards each other and make every effort together to give your best to each other to enjoy a long lovely and lasting relationship.

Honesty and faithfulness is a foundation of Love, what hold Love together is the trust between you and your partner. If you are not honest, the love would vanishes, if relationship has no trust, the relationship would not last long. As sooner of later your partner would come to know about it. Same goes to a breaks up, being honest would give you give an impression to your partner that you are worth to be with even the relationship does not work out. You get what you earn, being a good soul, honest and faithful to your partner would only leads to a romance relationship and your partner would treat you the same.

You reap what you sow if you are not honest and faithful in your previous relationship, the next relationship would come to bite you back. If it does not someday in your future when you are terribly sick, you may think of the past the bad thing you have done, you reap what you sow, you will feel the same pain you treated others.

It is very normal that you are good to people, you would get the same in return, if you are bad, you will get the same in return too. If you are reading this because you get cheated and dumped, I can assure you that you have done nothing wrong and if something never kill you, it will make you stronger, instead of focusing on the hatred, move on with your life rather than sitting there hoping your ex would get hurt by “KARMA”, because one day he/she would feel the same painful feeling you suffer today. Good things comes to those who wait, you deserve a better soul. Trust me!