The journey to go through another break up has been devastated to me, it seems like a norm to me that women who I had “intimate” before would often live better after that, I had seen and witnessed myself for 3 times in 3 straight years, either they would just taken away by 3rd party or just disappeared out of thin air. Changing partner every year seems to be fun for an average frustrated chumped like me and I guess I took it in a different way, I put the happiness on the hand of other, I am more miserable than being happy in a relationship. I thought this is what it was meant to be, to love and expect to be love in return. It is often what I perceived and indulged was not the desired result.
Its futile to be in relationship again, I shut myself in the house for month reading books, listening to self-help CD and studying forum post of love and relationship. I want to gain back my self-esteem that has been taken away and rewire myself being a more contented person. While shutting myself down from the social world for month had showered myself with more knowledge into better understanding awareness deep inside me. People often read books to search for themselves and find someone who agrees with them. And, right now, I could have done better if I have made the right choice in my life.
I suppose, we were all searching for love to fulfill our loneliness and emptiness, in search of other half needed to achieve happiness. That’s why we found each other. But by putting 2 persons with different system of behavior would never fix what was broken inside. Nothing would fix what was broken inside. All we could do was embrace the damage. The code of conduct to learn how to maintain a relationship.
I have gotten used to it, modern women these days are imbalanced and not firmed about what they need and want in a relationship. They want the best of both worlds. Surprisingly, even a 30 years old girl had this thought in mind. Undeniable, materialism is the key word these days, no matter how perfectly lovey dovey the relationship starts, either through “chemistry” or “love at first sight”. At the end of the day, 2 persons with different system of behaviour trying to change each other to fit their needs, the relationship will fall apart. I am not saying this out of a theoretical but experience it myself.
This is so unnecessary, women just seem to lose the ability or even willingness for sastifaction. They just want more, more class, more money, more time, more love, more care and bla bla bla. Why do Men always being blamed for unnecessary demand by woman? Who’s the one who generate all this unhealthy issues? It is women itself. In old days, women are calm, dedicated and obedient, being part of the backbone of the family, giving real strength that holds the family together with love and dedication. I assumed this is near extinct because social changes, woman has lost their identity for being good wives or good mothers.
Modern women no longer sastify with their traditional roles by fulfillment of nurturing her family or being a lovely wife, they had changed, they find more fulfillment at work being in high powered career, gains social dominant, defines her achievement at work, and NOT through the happiness at home, this has gone out of balance. They no longer being driven by family focus but selfishness to their own achievement and not the shared responsibilities of building a happy family together.
So how? Women are lost. They indulge deeper in work, having affairs with black and white. Doing unnecessary demands that bring little or no happiness and resign to be unhappy. Women appear to be cracks, they are not happy, they stress their life and long for romance, time for kids and more freedom which is supposed to be the traditional roles, but they want it all. Though, deep inside they want traditional roles by not giving up the modern roles, they never felt contented and this leads to miserable and resentment.
It’s not good signs and I am worried, however Love can be maintained, improved and neglected, we often have a choice.
PS:
This post is not to provoke discomfort to women and I still perceived women as a wonderful creatures. This post was purely my opinion based on what I observed, thanks for reading.
This reminds me back to old school rules where we are advise what to wear, how to wear it, colour combination and hair length. Give me a break, I am sure chinese people know what fashion is. This isn’t funny, I agreed that they do need these guide, but it’s not about east or west, it is just merely for good social behaviour to make foreigners feels comfortable and happy staying in Beijing.
